Instead of Him
by ValerieRichards
Summary: Takes place after the book. It shouldn't be him who goes to war, people change. And not for the better. I'm going to Vietnam instead of my brother. PonyboyCherry SodaSandy DarryOC
1. Not Him, Me

By ValerieRichards

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the Outsiders, maybe some army people.

Author's note: I know in the book Soda is 16 going 17 and Pony is 14, but in this story, Soda is 20, Pony is 17, and Darry is 23. Dedicated to my big bro. Justin, you may be annoying, but you're **my** annoying older brother and I love you.

Chapter 1: Not Him, Me

I heard that my second oldest brother was supposed to go to Vietnam, but I didn't want him to. If and when he came back, he wouldn't be the same carefree guy I knew. I couldn't take it, I wanted to go instead of him and I was old enough.

"I have an announcement to make" I said during dinner. Darry and Soda looked at me.

"What is it Pony" Soda asked. He knew he had to go to Vietnam. I sighed heavily and closed my eyes.

"I decided to switch places with Soda. Soda will be staying here and I'll go to Vietnam. I don't have a job yet and the school won't mind" I said. Both of my brothers went pale. Darry had his spoon half way to his mouth. Soda had his spoon in it and it clattered on the table when his mouth opened.

"How'd………what'd you tell them" Soda asked. I smiled solemnly and took a spoonful of soup. Darry was looking intently at me.

"I told him that we needed two of the family to be here to help pay the house insurance, get food, maintain the house, etc. and that I was 17. I also told him that I was much better at fighting and could handle weapons easily. He thought about it and agreed to switch places" I explained. I remembered the call and how much I'd argued my point.

"Why are doing this" Darry asked me. I mentally snorted. I was surprised he didn't know why, it's why I did most of the things when I was younger. I love them, I put them through torture because I love them. Okay, it's not really torture, but I heard that the reason you are who you are is because of the people in your life and the experiences you went through.

"Simple, I love you guys. I don't want Soda to stop being that awesome, carefree brother that he is. I don't want him to loose that reckless grin that'd always make others grin no matter the circumstances" I told them. It was true, I meant it.

"Pony……" Soda whispered. He had tears in his eyes and flowing down his face. Darry was still staring blankly at me.

"And Darry, I want to help you guys pay some of the expenses. I know you don't want me to, but I want **you** to go through college and get a job **you** like" I told him. I've always wanted to go to college and not get burdened down by me. I was telling my brothers something that I thought I'd always keep a secret. My feelings came pouring out all of a sudden. Darry now had tears streaming down his face.

"Pony……." He began. I felt the tears trying to come to my eyes and fall, but I tried to hold them back.

"I always wanted you guys to be happy and not have to grow up too fast. Even when I was a little kid, I was proud of my big brothers. I was proud that you guys were my big brothers and I talked big about you guys" I told them. I mentally laughed at the memory. I think my classmates _and_ teacher got bored whenever I talked about them. Soda and Darry were now crying fully.

"I didn't know that" Darry whispered.

"But then mom and dad died and you guys had to take care of me. I'm not saying that I don't like the way you guys raise me. Okay, I admit it, you guys are annoying at times but that's what brothers do" I rambled. I sometimes get like this when I hold things back. I was also crying by now. I ran out the door. That fear of burdening them with all of my problems rose up again. After Johnny and Dally died, I learned to listen to everyone's problems more. Sort of like Johnny did.

"Pony" Two Bit called. He didn't see me crying and stood there shocked. He had been going outside to his car to look for something. He ran up to the fence. I kept running and didn't stop when I heard him. Then, I bumped into someone.

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I know all about Pony's 'episode', I've had them myself a couple of times before. I know I have plenty of other stories to update, but I wanted to write this so badly. It kept bugging me. Please R&R!


	2. Going and Possibly Never Coming Back

By ValerieRichards

Disclaimers: See chapter 1.

Author's note: I don't like the idea of Soda going to Vietnam and dying. He's my favorite character.

Chapter 2: Going and Possibly Never Coming Back

I fell backwards on my butt and I didn't look up. I just sat there crying silently.

"Man kid! You scared the heck out of me" a voice said. It was Steve, Soda's friend. Steve still didn't like me and it was fine with me. Not everyone's going to like you. He was silent for a minute.

"Sorry" I said shakily. I looked up and saw concern in his face. That was something I'd never seen with Steve. I could tell he was concerned about me.

"What happened? Where are your brothers" he asked. He didn't have to wait long for the answer. Soda and Darry ran up behind me and skidded to a halt. They nearly crashed into me.

"Steve…..thank goodness……you've found him…….we've been looking all over for him" Soda huffed. He looked like he was going to collapse. Steve looked at Soda and then back at me. Darry explained about what was happening. Steve, surprisingly, was shell shocked. I got up and was about to leave when all three of them turned to me.

"Where do you think you're going" Darry asked. I began to run and they chased me. I used my running skills and widened the distance between us. Soda had just caught his breath when I ran. Then, out of nowhere, Soda came up next to me. He must have taken a shortcut. He tackled me to the ground and pinned me.

"Hold it right there kiddo, you're not going anywhere" he said. This sort of reminded me of when I had tackled him to the ground after he ran away.

"Let go of me" I yelled. Soda didn't move and sat on me until Darry and Steve arrived. Steve was huffing and fell to the ground.

"Man kid, you gave us a run for our money" he huffed. Darry and Soda stared at me and held me to the ground so I wouldn't run away again. I had to tell them everything.

"You're never a burden Pony, maybe annoying, but never a burden" Darry told me. I playfully punched him on the arm. All four of us laughed for a while. Then, a thought occurred to me.

"Oh my gosh" I gasped. The others looked at me frightened. Steve worried me a bit, he was **never** concerned about me. He cared about Dally more than me.

"What's wrong" Soda asked. I slumped down under a tree and stared into space. We had been running and playfully pushing each other. He sat next to me and the others followed suit.

"I just realized, this is the last time we'll be together" I said. It was, I'd be leaving in two days and Darry and Soda had to go to work the next day. They worked long hours and came home late. Soda pulled me into a hug.

"We'll see each other again, so there's no need to worry" he told me. I shook my head. This was a war, a real one and there was a chance that I could die.

"Yeah there is. This is a war we're talking about. I could never come home...I could get shot and….and……" my voice trailed off, but everyone knew what I was going to say. Soda and Darry looked at me.

"What are the chances of that happening" Darry asked. I glared at him. He's twenty-three, he **should** be able to calculate.

"1 in 10" I told him. The time, unfortunately, went quick and before I knew it, it was time for me to go to the base to train. Darry and Soda dropped me off at the airport and watched me leave. It all happened in slow motion at that point. I began to think about the chances of never coming back.

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Please R&R!


	3. War

By ValerieRichards

Disclaimers: See chapter 1.

Author's note: Sorry it took so long to update, the other diskette with the original chapter on it broke. I had a lot of stories on the other one and they're lost like chapter 7 of A Tale of a Greaser Girl and all of the original chapters of the story along with all the chapters of this story. This chapter takes place after Pony's done with training.

Chapter 3: War

The time had gone so fast and I was in Vietnam. I missed my brothers a lot. I loaded my gun up and made sure I had everything near me incase of an attack. I didn't use my head, I wasn't ready for this. Ready to see death up close. Ready to **have** to kill people.

"Curtis at attention! We're getting briefed for tomorrow's mission" another soldier yelled to me. We had a small amount of people, but we were all advanced in weapon training and maneuver tactics.

"Right" I yelled back. He turned to leave and I made a face at him. He didn't look at me, but stuck his middle finger up. Mac, that soldier, was my best friend in the army. I went to the main room where we get debriefed. Everyone was there including the Commander and Sergeant.

"Nice of you to join us Curtis" the Sergeant said. I laughed coldly. They explained our next move and we planned our positions. Then, we went to sleep, we'd be out early. The next morning, Mac woke me up by pulling me out of bed. I lazily got up and got ready. By the time we had to meet out on the field, I was fully awake.

"Alright men, charge" the Commander yelled. We all knew that there was Vietcong all over. The enemy had some soldiers up at night watching and then some during the day. We ran forwards with our guns and weapons ready. We had to be extremely careful, the enemy was all around us.

"Look out" someone yelled. We all ducked and a bullet whizzed past our heads and into a tree. We held our guns ready to shoot any Vietcong that we saw. Then, I saw another one of my friends stand up. The thing that shocked me was that there was a Vietcong a couple of yards away pointing his gun at him.

"**RON**" I yelled. I ran for him with my gun pointed at the Vietcong as best as possible. The Vietcong heard me and pulled the trigger. I was almost to my friend and lunged. I pointed my gun at the enemy and pulled the trigger. The bullet hit me in between two rib cage bones. I saw the bullet hit the Vietcong square between the eyes, lucky shot. I passed out.

"Curtis! Can you here me" the Commander asked when I came to. I moaned and my vision slowly came back. I was in a hospital similar to the ones in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

"Wh-Where am I" I asked weakly. The Commander smiled bitterly.

"You're lucky Curtis. You're back in Oklahoma, in a hospital. It is unknown to me how they got you here so quick, I've never seen anything like it" he said. Then, something registered in my mind.

"Why are you here? You should be back with all the other bozos in Vietnam" I asked him.

"The army's got another commander substituting for me. I have to go back there in a day" he told me. I smiled gratefully and then closed my eyes again. I wanted some peace and quiet to rest.

"Ponyboy Curtis" a nurse asked. I nodded without opening my eyes. I opened my eyes when there was silence.

"Yes" I asked. My voice was still raspy and it was starting to annoy me. I looked at her and she was smiling sweetly.

"Your…….brothers are here to see you" she said. I gave her the okay sign and left smiling. Then, I looked up and saw something that I never thought I'd see.

"Hold on mom. Hold on dad. I've gotta say goodbye to Soda and Darry" I said. I was the only person in the room.

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Please R&R!


	4. Between Here and Gone

By ValerieRichards

Disclaimers: See chapter 1.

Author's note: I forgot to put DarryOC in the summary, but I'll do it later. I know the chapter title doesn't make sense, but it's cool.

Chapter 4: Between Here and Gone

I wondered if this is what dying was like. You're still in your body at first, then you see your deceased relatives, and finally they take you to heaven. I didn't have time to think about it much because a second later, Darry and Soda walked in.

"Pony" Darry gasped when he saw me. He and Soda ran over to me and embraced me as best as they could. I was attached to machines and IVs. They sat down on either side of me.

"I-We were worried about you. We could've lost you and we wouldn't e able to stand that" Soda told me. I realized that they didn't know that I was about to die. They began to talk to me, but I was thinking. I knew I had to tell them.

"Soda, Darry, I have to tell you something" I blurted out. Soda stopped talking and looked at me. Darry instantly looked at my face.

"What is it Pony" Darry asked. I took a couple of breaths and closed my eyes.

"I'm dying. The bullet hit my spleen and it's enough that the doctors can fix it, but I can die. I hate to tell you, but I'm dying" I told them sadly. I loved my brothers and didn't want to hurt them. I knew me dying would hurt them terribly. Darry and Soda turned white.

"We've got to get a doctor in here" Darry said. He began to get up, but I yanked him back down. He tried again and I did it again.

"Dar, mom and dad are here to bring me to heaven" I told him quietly. Darry froze and Soda looked around the room.

"No Pony, please don't leave. Please" Soda begged me. Tears were streaming freely down his face. Darry was also crying and his eyes were already red.

"You've got to stay awake kiddo" he told me. I smiled solemnly and closed my eyes slowly. Soda and Darry yelled at me, pleaded for me to stay awake and hold on. I was almost to my mom when Cherry came into the room.

"Ponyboy" she gasped. Soda and Darry hadn't heard her come into the room. They looked up from my body and turned to her. They glared at her. I'll never understand why they hate _her_ so much. She didn't do anything to me, but talk nicely.

"What are you doing here" Darry growled. She glared at him and then she looked at Soda. I don't Soda _hates_ Cherry, I think he just doesn't like her too much.

"Give the girl a break Darry. She obviously knows Pony and is a friend of his" Soda said. Now I don't think Soda hates Cherry at all. Cherry mouthed thanks to him and went over to my body.

"I…..I know you might not like me because I'm a Soc, but……but there's something I need to tell you. The reason I couldn't love Dallas Winston after Bob died, the real one" she said, Darry and Soda looked at each other and at Cherry.

"Dally and Cherry" they both said. They both knew Cherry and that she was a Soc. They knew she was Bob's girlfriend and that she wasn't one either side.

"I…I loved someone else. I loved another Greaser………..I loved you" she said. Darry and Soda froze. I even froze at what she said. I never thought she'd **ever** say that, a _**Soc**_ likes _**me**_. I turned back to my parents and saw that they were smiling at me. I knew why. I had more things to live for on Earth, more to accomplish.

"Go ahead sweetheart. Tell your brothers we love them" my mom said. I was ready to start bawling my eyes out.

"Also, tell Darry vault 37 and 45-98-67. He'll know what I'm talking about" my dad said. I nodded and turned back towards my brothers and Cherry.

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Uh oh! Please R&R!


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